


money machine

by kuratatome



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26863825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuratatome/pseuds/kuratatome
Summary: gon: too excited 4 tomorrow to sleepkillua: what's tomorrow?gon: i get to see u guys!!!leorio: YOU LITERALLY SEE US EVERY DAY???
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 136
Kudos: 352





	1. kurapika finally gets a phone

**Author's Note:**

> hello lgbtq community

**_killua, gon, leorio_**

**_4:23AM_**

**killua** **:** GUYS

**gon:** hi killua!

**killua:** hi gon<3

**leorio:** what is it

**leorio:** the last time you texted in this groupchat at 4am u woke us up by spamming pictures of cats

**killua:** let go of the past live in the present

**leorio:** it was two days ago

**killua:** okay fuck off this is exciting

**killua:** first order of business 

**killua:** why r we all up at 4am

**gon:** too excited 4 tomorrow to sleep

**killua:** what's tomorrow?

**gon:** i get to see u guys + kurapika!!!

**leorio:** YOU LITERALLYSEE US EVERY DAY???

**gon:** doesn't mean i can't get excited about it!

**killua:** aww gon<3333

**killua:** hey old man why are you up

**leorio:** college essay writing

**gon:** ughwhy can't u and kurapika take a gap yearrrr

**gon:** killua and i need someone to drive us around

**killua:** ya who else will buy us mccdonalds at midnight

**leorio:** sounds like a you problem

**killua:** stfu we know you'll miss us

**killua:** anyways

**killua:** who wants to hear the reason i texted here

**killua:** it is very important news that u guys will b pleased to hear

**gon:** what is it??

**killua:** kurapika just texted me

**gon:** kurapikadoesn't have a phone?

**killua:** that brings me to my next point

**killua:** hegot one this morning and just decided to use it 

**leorio:** AGHSHDFG

**leorio:** cool*

**killua:** leorio prolly just had a whole ass stroke

**gon:** his crush on kurapika is getting out of hand 

**killua:** fr fr i hate gay people

**leorio:** YOU'RE LITERALLY GAY

**leorio:** AND STOP TALKING ABT ME LIKE IM NOT HERE

**leorio:** ALSO I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON KURAPIKA 

**gon:** hm

**leorio:** YOU GUYS R DELUSIONAL

**killua:** whatever lets you sleep at night

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_4:36AM_**

**Kurapika:** Hello.

**killua:** why tf they typing like that

**Kurapika:** Like what, Killua?

**gon:** kurapika we know you just got a new phone but

**gon:** turn ur auto caps off plz

**Kurapika:** No.

**leorio:** hey kurapika 

**Kurapika:** Hello, Leorio.

**leorio:** nvm

**Kurapika:** What?

**leorio:** ur typing like a 40 year old professor 

**Kurapika:** And you're all typing like 6 year old students in their first grammar lesson.

**killua:** cool it grandpa 

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_10:04AM_**

**leorio:** It’s Monday ✌️the start↗️of a new✅ week. Mondays✏️are✏️HARD ‼️send this↗️▶️▶️to 6 HOMIES to make them have a GOOD Monday. DON’T BREAK THE CHAIN or else you’ll have a BAD Monday.⏩⏩⏩GO⏪⏪⏪

**killua:** is this man fr

**Kurapika:** What does that mean, Leorio?

**leorio:** send it to six friends for good luck

**Kurapika:** I don't have six friends.

**killua:** well you're screwed

**Kurapika:** Oh, please. As if I actually believe in chain mail.

**killua:** kurapika prolly spends his free time writing those text messages about some girl showing up in your room at midnight to murder you if you don't forward the message to 20 people

**Kurapika:** How did you know?

**killua:** FR???

**Kurapika:** I'm just kidding. 

**_leorio, Kurapika_**

**_10:12AM_**

**Kurapika:** Aiko Kageyama was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of sewerage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This could happen to you if you do not forward this message to 20 people by midnight.

**leorio:** KURAPIKA

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_1:45PM_**

**leorio:** does anyone want to go out for food rn

**Kurapika:** Yeah, sure.

**killua:** gon and i can't we r on a date

**gon:** we r watching movies at my house :) <3

**Kurapika:** gay

**killua:** oh cause i thought the he/they twink had something to say

**Kurapika:** 10

**killua:**?

**Kurapika:** 9

**killua:** gon lock the door

**Kurapika:** 8

**leorio:** kurapika don't do anything drastic

**Kurapika:** 7

**killua:** THE DOOR IS LOCKED U CAN'T GET IN

**Kurapika:** 6

**gon:** i'm scared

**Kurapika:** 5

**Kurapika:** 4

**Kurapika:** 3

**Kurapika:** 2

**Kurapika:** 1

**leorio:** kurapika?

**leorio:** killua?

**leorio:**....gon?

**gon:** THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

**gon:** KURAPIKA CLIMBED IN THROUGH THE WINDOW

**gon:** DO U KNOW HOW FAST HE HAS TO BE TO RUN DOWN THE STREET FROM THEIR HOUSE TO MINE IN TEN SECONDS

**leorio:** IS KILLUA GETTING HIS ASS BEAT

**gon:** if u count his hair getting aggressively ruffled as getting his ass beat then . yes

**leorio:** another classic pika vs killua brawl for the books


	2. bullying hisoka + other occurrences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hisoka stans this chapter is not a safe space 4 u

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_7:04AM_**

**gon:** good morning guys! happy tuesday :)

**killua:** good morning gon <33

**Kurapika:** Ugh, get a room.

**gon:** good morning pika :D

**leorio:** hey

**leorio:** only i can call them pika

**killua:** sus

**leorio:** SHUT UP KILLUA

**Kurapika:** Pika is Leorio's thing. I understand what he is saying.

**killua:**.

**killua:** sus

**Kurapika:** What does that even mean?

**gon:** nothing

**killua:** nothing

**leorio:** nothing

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_11:19AM_**

**gon:** >:(

**killua:** what's wrong???

**gon:** i got detention for telling hisoka to stfu in class

**killua:** DEADASS

**leorio:** lollll what was he doing

**gon:** he spent the entirety of class moaning 

**killua:** wait did he do that thing where he like . closes his eyes and smirks

**gon:** YES

**killua:** ONE TIME WHEN HISOKA WAS OVER AT MY HOUSE ILLUMI TOLD HIM IT WASNT ATTRACTIVE WHEN HE DID IT AT THE DINNER TABLE AND HE RAN OUT OF THE ROOM CRYING

**Kurapika:** What the fuck is Hisoka doing in your 10th grade classes, Gon?

**gon:** he gets put in the lower grade classes despite being in 12th grade because he never passes any classes

**killua:** hopefully he fucking graduates next year and we never have to see him again

**Kurapika:** Agreed. 

**leorio:** rt

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_1:52PM_**

**killua:** kurapika and i will see u in detention gon

**leorio:** the fuck did you two do

**Kurapika:** We got into a fist fight in the hallway. 

**gon:** OVER WHAT????

**Kurapika:** He called me a hag

**killua:** IT'S WHO U ARE

**killua:** EMBRACE IT

**Kurapika:** KNOCK IT OFF.

**gon:** detention will be fun! :D

**leorio** **:** well now i feel left out 

**leorio:** actually i've got an idea 

**Kurapika:** Famous last words.

**leorio:** i'll see u all in detention

**gon:** LEORIO WHY

**gon:** WHAT DID U DO

**leorio:** i flicked the back of hisoka's head in class lol

**leorio:** he's crying

**Kurapika:** I'm almost glad he's a pedo so we don't have to feel guilty for bullying him.

**killua:** REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS STARING AT GON'S ASS AND LICKING HIS LIPS SO LEORIO SLAMMED THE TEXTBOOK OVER HIS HEAD AND GOT SUSPENDED FOR TWO DAYS

**gon:** HELPPPPP I ALMOST FORGOT ABT THAT

**leorio:** THAT WAS SO WORTH THE SUSPENSION

**Kurapika:** THE SOUND OF THE HIT IS SO CLEAR IN MY MIND.

**gon:** BONK

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_3:06AM_**

**leorio:** guess who just finished their college essay

**Kurapika:** Hm, I wonder.

**leorio:** don't be an ass

**leorio:** i'm so relieved that it's done

**gon:** good job leorio!! :D

**killua:** gon's use of the :D emoticon is killing me slowly

**Kurapika:** It looks just like him.

**Kurapika:** And Killua looks like the ">:3" emoticon.

**killua:** LMAOOO I SEE IT

**leorio:** back on topic i have finally finished my college essay

**leorio:** who will give me the attention and validation that i need and evidently crave

**killua:** proud of u or whatever

**Kurapika:** Good job, Leorio.

**leorio:** are u almost done with urs pika

**Kurapika:** Lol, I haven't started.

**leorio:** wh

**leorio:** kurapika

**leorio:** it's due next week

**Kurapika:** I know. 

**gon:** shouldn't you like . start?

**Kurapika:** I don't care.

**leorio:** pika what

**Kurapika:** I said I don't care.

**gon:** why?

**Kurapika:** Because the prompts are all about defining moments.

**Kurapika:** And the only defining moment in my life was walking in on my family after they were murdered years ago.

**Kurapika:** I've lived with nothing else to define me all my life, and I still haven't overcome it.

**leorio:** im coming over

**leorio:** leave your bedroom window open

**Kurapika:** You don't have to.

**leorio:** well i want to 

**killua:** kurapika let him come over

**gon:** if you need anything before he gets there text us

**Kurapika:** Okay. 

**_killua, Kurapika_**

**_3:56AM_**

**Kurapika:** Killua.

**killua:**?

**killua:** u okay

**Kurapika:** I have to tell you something.

**Kurapika:** And I know that you're dating Gon, but please don't tell him

**Kurapika:** This is between us, okay?

**killua:** ofc what is it

**Kurapika:** I think I like Leorio. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the nonexistent plot thickens


	3. leorio is an old, old, old man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my dears <33 enjoy

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_5:46PM_**

**killua:** hello friends!!!! :P <33 

**Kurapika:** What the fuck is wrong with you? 

**leorio:** ya u never use the fucking emoticons or hearts unless you're talking to gon 

**killua:** don't curse please! :) 

**leorio:** well now im getting worried 

**leorio:** did u hit ur head kid? 

**killua:** can't i just appreciate my friends? 

**Kurapika:** No. 

**gon:** i like your energy killua! but i will admit im a bit concerned 

**killua:** do not be concerned i am simply tryi#AlksvDNKJ 

**gon:** killua? :0 

**killua:** ALAKAJdiafI LOEV MYSISFTERNJA#@;DPASOMVBAD 

**Kurapika:** Hello? 

**killua:** GOD 

**killua:** ALLUKA HAD MY PHONE 

**leorio:** well that's a relief 

**Kurapika:** NO IT IS NOT. 

**Kurapika:** I CURSED IN FRONT OF HER. 

**Kurapika:** TELL HER I'M SORRY, PLEASE. 

**killua:** no im giving her the silent treatment for taking my phone without permission 

**killua:** she's giving me puppy eyes but . i must remain strong 

**killua:** DAMMIT IM SO CLOSE TO GIVING IN 

**killua:** okay fine 

**killua:** kurapika she says it's okay 

**gon:** aww! :P 

**_leorio, Kurapika_**

**_12:16AM_**

**leorio:** hey pika 

**leorio:** i was wondering 

**Kurapika:** Yes? 

**leorio:** do u want me to help u write your college essay 

**Kurapika:** That would be nice. 

**Kurapika:** And I realized I never really thanked you for coming over last night to calm me down. So, thanks. 

**leorio:** it's no problem 

**_killua, Kurapika_**

**_12:20AM_**

**Kurapika:** Why do Leorio and I have literal sexual tension 

**killua:** WHASHGSHASKS 

**Kurapika:** Tell me I'm wrong. 

**killua:** no ur completely right 

**killua:** im still shocked it took u this long to realize 

**killua:** like im pretty sure everyone except for u and the old man realize ur in love 

**Kurapika:** Shut up. He doesn't even like me. 

**killua:** why lie 

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_6:40AM_**

**leorio:** hey so i know i was supposed to pick everyone up today 4 school 

**leorio:** but i cannot find my glasses 

**leorio:** therefore i cannot drive 

**Kurapika:** Guess I'll have to pick everyone up then. 

**gon:** hell no 

**Kurapika:** Excuse me, Gon? 

**killua:** no way im getting into a car with kurapika 

**Kurapika:** Why not? 

**gon:** remember the last time u were driving me and killua around . 

**Kurapika:** Oh, c'mon. That was a one-time thing. 

**killua:** OH SO ALMOST HITTING A CHILD WAS A ONE TIME THING??? 

**leorio:** WHAT 

**gon:** basically me and killua get in the car with kurapika after they had 4 cans of monster in less than 24 hours right 

**gon:** so u know what this twink does.....he puts on call me maybe by carly rae jepsen and takes off speeding down the neighborhood at 62mph 

**leorio:** PIKAAA 

**Kurapika:** I SAID I WAS SORRY. 

**killua:** I HOPE U ARE AWAREWE R NEVER GETTING IN A CAR WITH U AGAIN 

**killua:** LEORIO U BETTER FIND UR GLASSES AND PICK US ALL UP OR I AM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL 

**leorio:** ugh 

**leorio:** tips for finding a misplaced item? 

**gon:** retrace ur steps! 

**Kurapika:** Clean up the area. 

**killua:** check on top of ur head old man lol 

**leorio:**. 

**killua:** DON'T TELL ME THEY WERE ACTUALLY ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD 

**gon:** I'M DYING 

**leorio:** i hate u guys 

**leorio:** im coming to pick yall up in five 

**Kurapika:** Y'all 

**killua:** yall 

**gon:** yall 

**leorio:** SHUT UP 

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_9:03PM_**

**killua:** bruh hisoka just messaged me on instagram 

**killua:** WE DON'T EVEN FOLLOW EACHOTHER 

**killua:** the only way he could've found me is if illumi gave him my insta 

**leorio:** im gonna kill them 

**gon:** wat did they say? :0 

**killua:** he said there's going to b a party at my house this friday bc my parents will be out 

**killua:** he said illumi said i'm gonna be locked in the mf basement with my siblings besides illumi that night so we don't disrupt 

**killua:** and u know the weirdest part? 

**killua:** illumi told hisoka not to tell me and he told me anyway 

**Kurapika:** That's odd. Why don't you and your siblings come over to my house that night? I'm sure my foster parents would love to have you. 

**killua:** nah 

**leorio:** why not 

**gon:** i don't want u locked in the basement killua :( 

**killua:** i won't be 

**killua:** because u guys are gonna break me and my siblings out 

**killua:** and then we're all gonna crash their fucking party 

**killua:** got it? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im excited 2 write the next chapter >:)


	4. this won't end well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no seriously...this won't end well

**_killua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_10:32AM_**

**gon:** party time tonight! :P

**leorio:** well it's not exactly a celebration

**leorio:** why can't we just get in, get killua and his siblings, and then get the fuck out

**killua:** because my brother + hisoka are fucking assholes and i wish the worst upon them?

**gon:** because we love killua and would do anything for him?

**Kurapika:** Because revenge?

**killua:** gon stop ur embarassing me

**gon:** it's true! <3

**leorio:** killua we know damn well u blushing rn

**killua:** STOPP

**gon:** <3 :)

**killua:** shush 

**killua:** anyways can we discuss the plan

**Kurapika:** Technically, we should be paying attention to our classes right now. 

**Kurapika:** But I suppose this is more important. 

**Kurapika:** Killua, you will text us when you and your siblings are getting sent to the basement right? 

**killua:** yeah

**Kurapika:** Alright, once we receive that text message, Leorio will drive us over and drop Gon and I off in front of the bathroom window. 

**Kurapika:** Leorio will then quickly dress up in disguise as a pizza man with a simple hat and uniform, holding a pizza box.

**leorio:** im gonna dress up in disguise as a what

**Kurapika:** A pizza man. 

**Kurapika:** Before they can claim that they never ordered a pizza, mutter something about having to use the bathroom. The house will be crowded, and no one will think much of it. 

**Kurapika:** You will then find the bathroom and open the window where Gon and I will have been waiting. 

**gon:** i see where this is going!

**gon:** plus killua knows that the key to the basement is hidden in the shelf next to the basement door so we should be able to get them out with no problem!!

**Kurapika:** Exactly. 

**killua:** u guys r the best or whatever

**leorio:** we know 

**gon:** we know

**Kurapika:** We know.

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_9:53PM_**

**killua:** illumi thinks he's being slick

**killua:** mf is like come help me in the basement oh and bring all ur siblings just for sillies

**gon:** IS IT GO TIME???

**killua:** yes we r heading down now

**leorio:** alright im coming to pick gon + pika up rn

**leorio:** we should be there in like ten min 

**killua:** cool

**killua:** he just locked us in 

**killua:** milluki is banging on the door begging as if illumi has an ounce of sympathy LMAOOO

**gon:** hang tight killua 

**gon:** we'll be there soon

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_10:07PM_**

**leorio:** HOW DID THE PIZZA DISGUISE WORK WHAT THE FUCK

**Kurapika:** Lol, did not expect that.

**leorio:** u literally added that into the plan urself???

**Kurapika:** Honestly, I just wanted to see you all dressed up.

**killua:** kinky

**Kurapika:** Why are you the way that you are.

**gon:** killua we're coming now!!! :))

**killua:** sweet i told my siblings to just run out when the door opens 

**killua:** as for the four of us............i think we need to fuck shit up 

**Kurapika:** After I grab some alcohol.

**killua:** after kurapika grabs some alcohol

**gon:** leorio found the key!!!!

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_10:19PM_**

**killua:** FJUCKIGN RUN

**Kurapika:** WE ARE.

**killua:** OLD MAN UR FALLING BEHIND

**killua:** I AM WATCHING U GUYS RUN FROM THE WINDOW

**killua:** WHY DID LEORIO JUST TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT 

**leorio:** IM SWEATY 

**gon:** R ILLUMI AND HISOKA STILL BEHIND US IM TOO SCARED TO LOOK

**Kurapika:** LESS TEXTING MORE RUNNING.

**killua:** oh my god

**killua:** this is literally insane

**killua:** my brother is an actual psychopath

**gon:** we're hiding in the bushes now + illumi and hisoka ran by without noticing but we're gonna stay here for a little while longer just 2 be safe and make sure they're gone

**killua:** i shouldn't have dragged u all into this ugghfhhffgh

**gon:** don't be silly, it was so worth it

**leorio:** fr the look on hisoka's face when he recognized us

**Kurapika:** Yeah, plus I got my alcohol.

**gon:** hisoka is too lame to b considered a threat but illumi............scared me 

**killua:** lol i wasn't scared

**Kurapika:** Your face when he told you to go to your room before chasing us out says otherwise, Killua.

**Kurapika:** I don't mean that in a "haha, you were scared" way. 

**Kurapika:** I mean that in an "are you okay" way.

**killua:** wdym im fine lmao

**gon:** r u sure ur not gonna be in trouble when illumi gets back to ur house??

**killua:** it doesn't matter don't worry about it gon

**gon:** killuaaaaa:(

**killua:** leave it alone gon

**killua:** you guys should head back to the car now

**killua:** they've been gone long enough

**killua:** thank u guys for making the night better 

**leorio:** are u sure ur gonna be okay

**killua:** yeah

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_2:56AM_**

**Kurapika:** I loev you guys so much

**Kurapika:** Have I ever said thay before omg

**gon:** are you okay kurapika?

**Kurapika:** Im super fineeee super good right now

**gon:** are u sure???? u aren't using correct grammar 

**killua:** hey wtf is going on with you

**leorio:** don't worry guys lol

**leorio:** pika is just drunk

**killua:** how do u know

**leorio:** im on the phone with him right now

**leorio:** he's saying the dumbest things

**gon:** hehelike what >o<

**leorio:** he says my hair seems really soft haha

**_k_** ** _illua, Kurapika_**

**_3:01AM_**

**killua:** kurapika

**killua:** get off the phone with leorio

**killua:** ur really drunk and ur gonna say something you'll regret

**Kurapika:** But I don;t wswanna get off the phone with him

**Kurapika:** I just like him so bsd

**Kurapika:** Im totalyl gonna tell him I like him so bad

**killua:** no

**killua:** not now not when you're like this okay?

**killua:** kurapika??

**killua:** helloooo?

**Kurapika:** I told him 

**Kurapika:** he hung uo on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will b mostly serious hehe


	5. all my homies hate illumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like to call this chapter disaster mode

**_gon, leorio_**

**_3:12AM_**

**leorio:** gon

**leorio:** i need ur help

**leorio:** but u can't tell anyone not even killua

**gon:** :0 what's up ???

**leorio:** pika just confessed to me

**gon:** confessed wat?

**leorio:** that he likes me

**gon:** OH MY GOD FINALLYYYY

**gon:** what did u say???????

**leorio:** i hung up on them

**gon:** you what

**gon:** leorio that's really bad 

**gon:** why would u hang up

**leorio:** 1.he was drunk out of his mind

**leorio:** 2\. he confessed over the phone

**leorio:** 3\. ive been waiting for this moment for as long as i can remember + of course the circumstances were as awful as they were

**gon:** im sorry leorio :(

**leorio:** i just don't know what to say to them at this point

**gon:** want me to call u?

**leorio:** no u should probably go to sleep

**leorio:** i'll be fine 

**gon:** okay im here if u need me 

**_k_** ** _illua, Kurapika_**

**_3:20AM_**

**killua:** ur an idiot

**Kurapika:** I know.

**killua:** where do we even go from here

**Kurapika:** I don't know.

**Kurapika:** I need tp apologize to Leorio.

**killua:** when you're sober

**killua:** here's what i think

**killua:** i think leorio likes u

**Kurapika:** Then why would he hanf up?

**killua:** because that moment should've been special

**killua:** it should've come from the heart not from the alcohol

**killua:** and he's prob frustrated it happened over the phone rather than face to face

**killua:** that's why when you apologize ur gonna do it in person while sober

**killua:** and ur gonna confess for real this time

**Kurapika:** No way. He doesn't like me that way.

**killua:** im going to throttle you

**Kurapika:** Kinkyyyyy

**killua:** yea ur gonna have to sleep this off

**killua:** go to bed rn before i come over there and smother u with ur pillow

**Kurapika:** Ur a greart friend Killua 

**killua:** go to bed

**_k_** ** _illua, gon,_**

**_3:52AM_**

**killua:** hey gon?

**killua:** ur probably asleep 

**killua:** don't freak out or anything but illumi is banging on my bedroom door

**killua:** i think he's gonna take my phone and lock me in the basement as a consequence of ruining his party

**killua:** nothing i can't handle though 

**killua:** i just wanted to let u know that if im not responding do not come over or anything like that

**killua:** i'll be okay but if i am not responding for a while i repeat do not come over

**killua:** because illumi will fucking kill u all

**_leorio, Kurapika_**

**_5:22AM_**

**Kurapika:** Hey.

**Kurapika:** Can we talk in person today?

**Kurapika:** Okay, leave me on read, that's fine too. 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon_**

**_6:13AM_**

**gon:** killua??

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_6:15AM_**

**gon:** guys

**gon:** i don't know what to do killua texted me something abt illumi taking his phone and locking him in the basement for a couple days and im really really worried

**Kurapika:** Oh my god.

**Kurapika:** We have to go get him then.

**leorio:** we can bust him out like last time

**gon:** he said not to come over because illumi will kill us

**leorio:** that's never stopped us before

**Kurapika:** Yes, but that was before Illumi had a bone to pick with us.

**leorio:** of course u would say that

**leorio:** kurapika that's just cowardly

**Kurapika:** I just think we need a plan. I don't want any of us in danger.

**leorio:** fucking coward

**gon:** leorio calm down

**gon:** whatever.....we don't have time for this

**gon:** besides i think i have an idea

**leorio:** what is it

**gon:** we need to find alluka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah gay people cannot function properly


	6. leorio doesn't take off his shirt while running (this time)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated in a week!!! aaaaa i feel so guilty i've just been busy
> 
> anyways enjoy!

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_6:19AM_**

**Kurapika:** Do you have Alluka's number, Gon? 

**gon:** no but I do know that whenever something awful is happening in the zoldyck mansion 

**gon:** her and killua always hide out in the butler's residence 

**leorio:** i almost forgot the zoldycks have a separate house for the butlers 

**gon:** ya it's down the street from their house 

**gon:** so if my predictions are right 

**gon:** alluka should hopefully be there 

**Kurapika:** What are we supposed to do when we find her? 

**Kurapika:** Isn't she pretty much invisible to Illumi? Why would he listen to her? 

**gon:** i have a feeling that will work to our advantage 

**leorio:** what are u planning gon 

**gon:** let's find alluka first 

**gon:** meet in front of the zoldyck's butler residence in 15? 

**leorio:** okay 

**Kurapika:** Alright, Gon. Trusting you on this. 

**_leorio, Kurapika_**

**_6:30AM_**

**leorio:** listen 

**leorio:** i think it would be best for killua's situation if we didn't fight anymore 

**Kurapika:** I wasn't the one fighting, but okay. 

**Kurapika:** Sorry, I didn't mean that rudely. 

**Kurapika:** Do you think we can talk face to face at some point? 

**leorio:** yes 

**Kurapika:** I really feel bad, Leorio. 

**leorio:** we'll talk soon 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_6:38AM_**

**leorio:** i'll be there in two minutes 

**Kurapika:** Gon and I are here. We’re going to knock on the butler’s residence and ask if they’ve seen Alluka. 

**leorio:** okay sounds good 

**gon:** she’s here!!!! alluka is here!! 

**leorio:** perfect 

**leorio:** the house is in view 

**leorio:** alright im here let me in 

**_leorio, Kurapika_**

**_7:02AM_**

**leorio:** okay this is getting ridiculous 

**leorio:** ur being v awkward around me and alluka and gon are def noticing 

**Kurapika:** Yeah, I just feel weird, I guess. 

**Kurapika:** This is a very awkward situation. 

**leorio:** let's go talk outside then 

**Kurapika:** Right now? 

**leorio:** yeah while gon and alluka are busy planning 

**leorio:** they seem to have it under control 

**Kurapika:** Okay. 

**_gon, leorio_**

**_7:18AM_**

**gon:** where did u and kurapika go? :0 

**leorio:** we're outside talking 

**leorio:** how is the plan going? 

**gon:** good!! i think alluka is finally coming around 

**gon:** once she is prepared we'll head over to the house and get killua + bring him over to my place:)) 

**leorio:** what do you mean by prepared? 

**gon:** like mentally ready 

**gon:** she's scared but she knows it's the only way to get killua out of there 

**leorio:** she's getting the key from illumi's bedroom right? that's pretty brave 

**gon:** yes she said he put it there after we crashed the party 

**gon:** he doesn't think anyone has the guts to go in there to get it but alluka does! 

**gon:** we're just gonna have to distract illumi before she goes in there 

**leorio:** right right 

**leorio:** pika and i r coming back in 

**leorio:** ignore the fact that we're holding hands 

**gon:** wait 

**gon:** WHAT 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_7:33AM_**

**leorio:** gon r u and alluka in position 

**gon:** yeah! 

**leorio:** pika and i r about to throw the pebbles at illumi's window to get his attention 

**leorio:** once we do that you gotta get alluka inside 

**gon:** yes yes i know the plan 

**Kurapika:** Just making sure. You two be careful, okay? 

**gon:** We will! 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_6:38AM_**

**gon:** alluka is inside she's getting the key right now 

**gon:** are you guys still running? is illumi following? 

**Kurapika:** Lol, yes and yes. Haven't even broken a sweat. 

**leorio:** speak for yourself im bout to collapse 

**gon:** keep going :D i believe in you <3 

**Kurapika:** Gon's emoticons are highly comforting. 

**gon:** :)) 

**gon:** alluka signaled from illumi's bedroom window that she has the key 

**gon:** she's gonna get killua and then you guys can beat up illumi 

**gon:** well you guys meaning kurapika 

**Kurapika:** I'm so glad that me getting to harm Illumi is part of the plan. 

**gon:** well how else would we get him away from u guys :P 

**leorio:** hey i could take him too 

**Kurapika:** Yeah, no. 

**gon:** leorio no :( 

**leorio:** WTF 

**leorio:** you guys seriously don't think i could take him 

**Kurapika:** I think I'll focus on running now. 

**leorio:** ugh rude pika 

**gon:** bickering like an old married couple 

**gon:** speaking of which 

**gon:** are you two....u know 

**Kurapika:** Kind of? 

**Kurapika:** Idk, we haven't really talked it through yet. There are more important things to worry about right now. 

**leorio:** yeah after we find killua we'll talk abt it more 

**gon:** okay i support u guys completely!!! 

**leorio:** thanks gon 

**gon:** oh shit 

**gon:** fuck 

**gon:** guys 

**Kurapika:** Gon?? 

**gon:** killua is a fucking mess 

**gon:** lose illumi then come back asap please? 

**leorio:** we're on our way 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise the angst will be over next chapter :P 
> 
> think i'm aiming for about 10 chapters but will prob do more texting fics of these guys in the future


	7. killua and gon are quite literally in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the longer than usual wait! i promise the next chapter will update sooner :)

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_9:58AM_**

**leorio:** killua just woke up 

**Kurapika:** Tell him Gon, Alluka, and I are coming back from the store now

**killua:** im in the chat u idiots

**gon:** KILLUAAAA<3 

**gon:** i was so worried about you!!!   


**killua:** gon ur so embarrassing shakshdj

**Kurapika:** Leorio can fill you in on what happened.

**killua:** actually the old man just went to take a piss

**Kurapika:** Must you say things so ineloquently?

**kill** **ua:** stfu ur such a hag

**gon:** good to see ur back to normal killua!

**killua:** wait 

**killua:** so what happened

**gon:** well for starters alluka found you in the basement really out of it 

**gon:** but u kept insisting u were fine even though you were covered in bruises + sobbing

**gon:** so we brought you back here and you fell asleep

**killua:** don't remember any of that

**killua:** guess big bro really snapped this time lolll

**gon:** it's not funny killua

**killua:** right

**gon: i** f it makes you feel any better kurapika kicked illumi in the balls

**killia:** kurapika is terrifying 

**Kurapika:** Thank you.

**killua:** because he’s a 5’7 homosexual without an ounce of sympathy 

**Kurapika:** Thank you?

**gon:** alluka is so excited to see youuu

**gon:** we r like five minutes away 

**killua:** don't tell me kurapika is driving

**Kurapika:** We're walking, dickwad.

**killua** : leorio is back plz don’t leave me alone with the elder

**killua:** he makes one wrong move and i might have to send him to a nursing home

**Kurapika:** Please don’t.

**killua:** you’re no fun

**gon:** let him defend his boyfriend killua 

**killua:** lollll yeah his boyfriend 

**Kurapika:** No, seriously. We’re like, dating.

**killua:** sure kurapika

**leorio:** he ain’t lying

**killua:** yeah right

**gon:** killua they’re being fr fr

**killua:** mmhhm

**leorio** : you may not believe it now but just wait til we start acting as obnoxious as you and gon

**killua:** gon and i are NOT obnoxious 

**Kurapika:** Agree to disagree.

**Kurapika:** Remember that road trip we went on last year? You two did not stop holding hands for 12 hours.

**leorio:** even when kurapika almost crashed the car

**Kurapika** : I did not almost crash the car.

**Kurapika** : Do not bring that up.

**Kurapika** : We only swerved on the wrong lane on the highway.

**Kurapika:** I thought we agreed to never speak ofthat again.

**killua:** okay fine we won't make fun of u for it only because we value our lives

**Kurapika:** Right answer.

**killua:** but seriously guys

**killua:** ik you three are pranking me

**killua:** jokes over

**Kurapika:** We're literally dating, Killua.

**killua:** stop trying to deceive me it will not work

**_k_** ** _illua, gon_**

**_11:45AM_**

**gon:** hey :)

**gon:** now that kurapika and leorio have left can we talk?

**killua:** y are you texting just come down to the living room

**gon:** aunt mito won't let alluka and i in there bc she says you need your rest!

**killua:** i'm fine wtf

**gon:** actuallythat's kind of what i wanted to talk to u about 

**gon:** i know u will prob insist that ur fine and that u can go back home

**gon:** but i can't allow u to do that

**gon:** they hurt you killua

**killua:** i know

**gon:** wait what?

**gon:** you aren't going to fight me on this?

**killua:** no

**killua:** alluka is involved this time

**killua:** i can't let anything happen to her

**gon:** i understand you r concerned for alluka but you have to be concerned for yourself too :((

**killua:** i know im working on it 

**gon:** okay good :P you and alluka can stay here then right?

**killua:** illumi will come looking for me

**gon:** he doesn't know where any of us live

**killua** **:** he'll find out + that's what scares me

**killua:** no one else in my family would care if alluka and i ran away but illumi will always be looking

**gon:** you don't have to be scared

**gon:** not with me by ur side

**killua:** yeah

**killua:** promise me if illumi shows up u won't do anything reckless?

**gon:** i can promise that i'll protect you 

**killua:** ur such an embarrassing idiotttt

**gon:** but u love me anyway >:)

**killua:** u right 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_3:12PM_**

**gon:** kurapika + leorio can u guyssleepover tonight?

**killua:** damn they were just here

**gon:** i thought u were the one that wanted to have them over?

**killua:** HEY

**killua:** U WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM

**leorio:** AHA U DO LOVE US

**killua:** SHUT UP YOU'RE CRAZY

**Kurapika:** What time should we come over?

**gon:** 6pm is good

**gon:** come on an empty stomach though! aunt mito is practically a chef XD

**killua:** gon

**killua:** u know i love you

**killua:** but what the fuck is that emoticon

**Kurapika:** Never use that in my presence again.

**leorio:** idk guys i like it

**Kurapika:** No you don't.

**leorio:** no i don't

**_k_** ** _illua, gon_**

**_11:23PM_**

**killua:** GON

**killua:** WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT IN FRONT OF US

**gon:** holding hands???

**killua:** ARE THEY ACTUALLY DATING

**gon:** WE ALL TRIED TO TELL YOU 

**killua:** I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

**gon:** WE TRIED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so so so much for the support with this story...love u all very much<3


	8. killua has severe catboy qualities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAA SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE BUT I AM BACK

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_8:12AM_**

**gon:** happy national ding dong ditch day guys! 

**leorio:** happy national ding dong ditch day 

**Kurapika:** What are we doing for the occasion? 

**killua:** u did not just ask that question 

**gon:** we're ding dong ditching! 

**killua:** duh 

**leorio:** i may have agreed and forgot to tell u pika 

**Kurapika:** Aren't you guys 14? 

**Kurapika:** And don't even get me started on the fact that Leorio is 18. 

**killua:** 40* 

**leorio:** SHUT UP KILLUA 

**leorio:** but cmon pika it'll be fun 

**gon:** i really wanted all of us to go ding dong ditching together kurapika!! :( please? 

**Kurapika:** Fine. 

**Kurapika:** But only because Gon asked nicely. 

**gon:** sweet =^.^= meet up at my house at 5PM sharp! alluka is coming with us as well!!! 

**killua:** im bringing my skateboard that was left at gon's house from the last time i was over 

**leorio:** who's gonna tell him that the skateboard he carries around does not make him look any cooler 

**killua:** why lie 

**killua:** i look awesome with my skateboard 

**killua:** tell him guys 

**killua:** guys? 

**killua:** okay fuck you all 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_5:06PM_**

**gon:** so are we going to talk about how leorio fell off killua's skateboard today or are we just supposed to ignore that 

**killua:** mans fell over like a stack of bricks 

**leorio:** CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS 

**Kurapika:** HE DEADASS COLLAPSED. 

**leorio:** GOD SHUT UP 

**leorio:** PIKA U SHOULD BE DEFENDING ME 

**Kurapika:** Ugh, fine. 

**Kurapika:** Leorio may have fallen off a child's skateboard but 

**leorio:** go on 

**Kurapika:** That's all I got. 

**leorio:** I LITERALLY HATE ALL OF YOU 

**killua:** bitch even alluka can easily ride my skateboard 

**leorio:** well maybe that's because it is a CHILD'S TOY 

**killua:** that's it 

**killua:** im going to hiss at you 

**Kurapika:** I've been hissed at by killua before. 

**gon:** killua don't hiss at your friends! 

**Kurapika:** Bitch thinks he's a catboy. 

**leorio:** excuse u killua is a catboy 

**gon** **:** that is true! killua sometimes makes this face =^._.^= 

**killua:** what the fuck 

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_10:40PM_**

**Kurapika:** Guess what? 

**Kurapika:** I am almost finished with my college essay. 

**gon:** OMG! YAY! 

**leorio:** GO BESTIE 

**killua:** noice noice 

**killua:** you know leorio u don't have to call kurapika bestie anymore 

**killua:** ur literally dating 

**leorio:** but it's too much fun calling people bestie 

**gon:** normalize calling people bestie 

**Kurapika:** Speak your truth, bestie. 

**gon:** thank u bestie!!! :)) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short just cause i wanted to post something + national ding dong ditch day was actually dec 12th but we'll ignore that


	9. dead memes ft. joe mama and deez nuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa one more chapter left after this

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_5:23AM_**

**leorio:** guys

**leorio:** joe just called me

**Kurapika:** Who is Joe?

**killua:** LEORIO NOOOOO

**leorio:** JOE MAMA

**leorio:** GON DID I DO IT RIGHT

**gon:** yes! great job :)

**Kurapika:** What just happened?

**killua:** ARE U TWO SERIOUSLY STUCK ON JOE MAMA

**killua:** DEAD MEME ASFFFF

**gon:** joe mama isn't a dead meme!!

**gon:** wait is it??? :((

**leorio:** joe mama is forever 

**Kurapika:** You know, I think you two need some sleep.

**leorio:** oh so now the i-live-off-coffee-and-monster-cans-and-haven't-slept-in-4-days bitchass is going to preach to us

**gon:** FOUR DAYS KURAPIKA WHAT THE FUCK

**Kurapika:** four days is literally nothing

**killua:** i know right

**gon:** YOU'RE BOTH UNHINGED 

**leorio:** does mr. lemme train to work up the strength to punch the crazily strong pedo in the face for the sake of my dignity have something to say?

**killua:** LEORIO GOING AFTER EVERYBODY TONIGHT

**killua:** I FEEL LEFT OUT DO ME NEXT 

**leorio:** if you insist, which you will, due to your subtle inability to feel loved unless you are being included 

**Kurapika:** Damn, chill.

**killua:** HOW DID YOU

**gon:** leorio really is not holding back tonight 

**killua:** yeah what crawled up your ass and died leorio

**leorio:** well

**gon:** spill

**leorio:** i guess i just feel a little uptight and i'm taking it out on everyone

**gon:** :( how come?

**leorio:** because pika didn't find my joe mama joke funny

**killua:** IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ALL ABT???   


**leorio:** yes /srs

**killua:** OH MY GOD

**Kurapika:** I am very sorry I didn't laugh, Leorio. 

**Kurapika:** Would you like to send me another joke?

**leorio:** yeah just lemme get deez

**Kurapika:** Deez what?

**leorio:** DEEZ NUTS

**killua:** SHUT UPSKSDKJ

**Kurapika:** I exhaled through my nose.

**Kurapika:** Not quite a laugh, but something was certainly there.

**leorio:** did you smile?

**Kurapika:** Yes, dumbass.

**leorio:** good

**leorio:** that's all i need to know

**gon:** aw

**killua:** gay

**leorio** **:** im going to ignore that comment brat

**leorio:** anyways

**leorio:** kurapika go to bed now 

**Kurapika:** You know what?

**Kurapika:** I will try if it makes you happy.

**Kurapika:** As long as everyone in this chat tries to sleep as well.

**gon:** good idea! it is 5am and i am getting very sleepy

**leorio:** me too goodnight everyone

**gon:** nighty night! :D

**_k_** ** _illua, gon, leorio, Kurapika_**

**_9:11AM_**

**killua:** YOOO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE

**Kurapika:** Oh my god.

**Kurapika:** Time is not real.

**Kurapika:** How is it already Christmas Eve?

**gon:** well time flies when ur having fun!

**Kurapika:** Who said I was having fun?

**leorio:** gon + killua when should pika and i come over 

**Kurapika:** You guys are going to love the gifts we bought you.

**gon:** omg im sooo excited :D aunt mito says to come anytime!

**killua:** alluka says come now

**leorio:** we r on our way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be longer with a dash of angst considering it's the last one but i promise a happy and fluffy ending :))) happy holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos and comments or kurapika will send u chain mail


End file.
